Jokes!

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09 Jun 2014 02:47 #20098 by Gin
Replied by Gin on topic Jokes!
Interview Starts..

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28 Jul 2015 17:05 #22358 by Joes
Replied by Joes on topic Jokes!
Tough market, eh? Here's something to cheer us up.

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02 Apr 2016 22:29 #22953 by Dongdaemun
Replied by Dongdaemun on topic Jokes!
The doctor said, 'Joe, the good news is I can cure your headaches. The bad news is that it will require castration.

'You have a very rare condition, which causes your testicles to press on your spine and the pressure creates one hell of a headache. The only way to relieve the pressure is to remove the testicles.'

Joe was shocked and depressed. He wondered if he had anything to live for. He had no choice but to go under the knife. When he left the hospital, he was without a headache for the first time in 20 years, but he felt like he was missing an important part of himself.

As he walked down the street, he realized that he felt like a different person. He could make a new beginning and live a new life.

He saw a men's clothing store and thought, 'That's what I need. A new suit.'

He entered the shop and told the salesman, 'I'd like a new suit.'

The elderly tailor eye d him briefly and said, 'Let's see, Size 44 long.'

Joe laughed, 'That's right, how did you know?'

'Been in the business 60 years!' the tailor said.

Joe tried on the suit it fit perfectly.

As Joe admired himself in the mirror, the salesman asked, 'How about a new shirt?'

Joe thought for a moment and then said, 'Sure.'

The salesman eyed Joe and said, 'Let's see, 34 sleeves and 16-1/2 neck.'

Joe was surprised, 'That's right, how did you know?'

'Been in the business 60 years.'

Joe tried on the shirt and it fit perfectly.

Joe walked comfortably around the shop and the salesman asked, 'How about some new underwear?'

Joe thought for a moment and said, 'Sure.'

The salesman said, 'Let's see, Size 36.'

Joe laughed, 'Ah ha! I got you! I've worn a size 34 since I was 18 years old.'

The salesman shook his head, 'You can't wear a size 34. A size 34 would press your testicles up against the base of your spine and give you one hell of a headache.'
The following user(s) said Thank You: Aquarius

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05 Apr 2016 13:47 #22958 by Aquarius
Replied by Aquarius on topic Jokes!
That's a good one. How about this other tailor related joke. Unfortunate it is at the expense of our departed and well known ex-PM, the late LKY.

LKY had just returned from a trip to India with a piece of exquisite Indian silk fabric. He consulted his personal tailor in Singapore who told him that he could make 1 perfect complete suit from the fabric. As he was off to a summit in Hong Kong he brought the piece of silk with him to the ex-British colony. During an informal meeting he showed the fabric to the Hong Kong chief executive officer who told him that his tailor would probably be able to make 2 complete suits for LKY with the piece. Puzzled by the difference, LKY was soon off to the US for another political meeting with political leaders. During a side meeting, he showed US president Clinton the piece of silk and remarked that his Singapore tailor could make only one complete suit for him while the Hong Kong one could make 2 complete suits.

Clinton took a look at the fabric and exclaimed that his American tailor would probably be able to, in fact, make 3 complete suits from it. Perplexed with the issue of increased "productivity", LKY asked Clinton why the tailors in different countries have different levels of product output from the same quantity of material, in particular, why the American tailor could make 2 additional suits than his Singapore tailor. Clinton then replied. "it is not about the tailor or the material. You see, Mr Lee, the further you are away from Singapore the smaller you become."

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